Saturday, June 26, 2004

I noticed this morning when lying down that my uterus is starting to
grow to accomodate the pg a little more. With my 6x7cm intramural
fibroid on the right side (which the uterus has be heretofore wrapped around) it is now starting to expand on the left side. So, if you feel my lower abdomen you can feel two lumps side by side. I'm just finishing my fifth week so it will be interesting to see how things grow. I expect that my fibroid will move up and out of my pelvis but it will be interesting if the distended uterus pushes it to the front, side or back. My fibroid isn't causing me any problems, it doesn't feel to me like it is growing and I'm able to still go to modern dance class just fine. All good so far.
I'm so glad it is the weekend, finally some time to rest! I was soooo hungry today that I keep on eating every 2 hours or so. I made homemade fettucini with tomato sauce a while ago and that was filling. I've been craving a lot of south-east asian cuisine this past week though, like Thai and Vietnamese food -- thing with a little fish sauce in them. I've also been craving/eating a lot of fruit. They say the trick is to only eat things that appeal to you to help with the nausea. I was at a creperie yesterday (a restaurant that serves crepes) and nothing looked good to me, the thought of cheese sounded so unappealing. I ended up eating half of mine and my partner ate the other half plus his dinner -- he was stuffed. I'm bummed about not being able to eat sushi although our favorite sushi waitress said that she ate sushi through her entire pg as she was working and it was free food. Different cultures have different takes on what is safe and not in pg. There's this book I read a couple years ago called From Paris to the Moon and the author describes the contrast between the pregnancy and birth of his first child in the U.S. with the pg and birth of the second in Paris. Doctors in France tell women to drink wine (in moderation of course) to sooth the nerves and such during pg.

Friday, June 25, 2004

This may sound crazy but caffeine can help sperm swim faster. Truly. Read about it:

Coffee makes sperm speed up
18:24 14 October 03
NewScientist.com news service
http://www.newscientist.com/news/news.jsp?id=ns99994267

You might have your partner stop and get a double espresso before the next IUI or you get up early and make/get coffee for him and switch your BD schedule to the AM (as the coffee certainly would disrupt sleep if taken at night).

Just for everyone's information I thought I would share with you a reason why I thought we could influence our fertility in spite of doctors telling us that morphology is just something that you are born with and you can't change. We were working with a biotech company a couple years ago and they had developed a compound that would enhance a plants ability to both combat pests and disease and at the same time had the added benefit of increased fruit production of increased proportions. That was why I went looking for all those links in my sig for sperm maturation and morphology. I thought surely there has got to be a way to influence this process. Finally I got my partner to agree to try the extended supplement regime, thinking that at the very least we would be improving the opportunity to grow better sperm. Take a look at the PDF article at the link below when you have a chance and you can see what I'm talking about.

Messenger for Citrus
http://www.edenbio.com/documents/Eden+Citrus.pdf

Today I've been feeling mostly good but then burpy- yucky, then STARVING (at 11am after I already at leftover Thai food for breakfast and a banana and a glass of almond milk at work), so I had to go buy something pronto. I don't know what would have happened if I didn't but it sure felt desperate.

My partner and a good friend at work are both noticing the physical changes in my already (I noticed them two weeks ago). I've got a little extra fat around my belly button, I'm starting to be a little more rounded in the front as well, and still with the big boobs. I'm thinking about getting some new bras because the ones I have aren't really enough support but that was just based on what I own on not because I look like Busty Dusty (ever hear of her, famous porn star).

Thursday, June 24, 2004

I thought I had regular PMS this cycle but there were a couple clues that it was different that I didn't pick up on at the time (these symptoms were around 10-15 day dpo):

Breasts didn't start to get less sore as AF approached

I was more bold in expressing myself, to the point that I was off-putting to others

My uterus was swollen which I only noticed because I've got a large fibroid and I can normally feel my uterus because of it. I was feeling a bit down because it felt larger and I thought that perhaps my fibroid was growing but it felt too squishy and I was confused.

When I was a day late I started having some odd itching on my right forearm and I started getting these tiny pin prick like itchy blisters on my hands and forearms. I'm still getting those and it seems like it is connected.

I felt good for a few days and then I had a lot of cramps that first week when my period was late so I kept thinking it was coming, even after the + HPT and blood test. Progesterone supplementation helped keep the cramps in check.
I've been feeling hungry and blech all week. Eating doesn't help the blech feeling much but not eating makes it worse so I'm going to keep nibbling. My breasts are less sore than over the weekend thank goodness. I'm such a total space cadet though. I forgot about two appointments this week (although you can be sure that I wouldn't miss a doctor’s appointment).

I wondered as well about what late implantation might mean. I guess the embryo had less fuel to burn. Progesterone increases the amount of glycogen, a type of sugar and fuel for growth, in the endometrium so that's why it might help the heartbeat.

Don't you all think it is weird how obsessed they are with how far along we are. What's a few days? Aside from clear health problems (which I don't have so far) I guess I feel like my body is going to do the best it can. Blood tests and the like aren't going to make this go more smoothly. Do you think you will have amniocentesis?
I've still got the m/s, I guess usually it starts around the 6th week which is this week which means it can only get worse. This article link someone sent me says that if you get motion sickness then you are more prone to m/s. It is a beautiful day here and I don't feel like doing anything except laying down. I might take the bus to another neighborhood to go look a baby knitting patterns and yarn to start working on presents for my friends twins. She told me I could wait until the Fall since the summer is too hot for knits in New York.

Other than getting up 3 times to pee last night I slept like a log which is good. I've been trying to do some cooking this weekend as well I made homemade pasta and sauce yesterday and today I baked blueberry muffins.

Someone asked about the supplements my partner was taking. Here's a list:

Daily Multivitamin that included selenium
Chewable Zinc tablets with Vit C
Grape seed extract 2 caps a day (cheaper than pynogenol and also a potent anti-oxidant)
Carnitine capsule

Selenium and zince are both found in highest concentrations in a man's body in the ejaculate so we tried to make sure that he had a good amount of both in his diet. Selenium is found in whole wheat flour usually and zinc is found in pumpkin and sunflower seeds. Walnuts were also recommended by my acupuncturist as something to boost male fertility.

My partner is a vegetarian who eats fish and very rarely freerange chicken and pork wontons. He eats a lot of beans and rice. We were also eating more leafy greens to help with hormonal balance for us both.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

I'm feeling queasy today, sort of like the edge of car sickness. Blech! I would love to work from home for the rest of the week but my team needs me.
To an online friend...

It isn't up to doctors if we get pregnant or not. The human species has survived millennia without help from doctors. As I said before they told us that based on the statistics we had a 2% chance of the 25% chance that most couples have on average. That's so small that I need my calculator to figure it out (sorry I'm not good with math!).

I think that God has a lot to do with it too. I feel blessed that I didn't have to have the IUI and that we were able to conceive. I also always think of this story someone posted to a buddy group I was on months ago and it ended like this "what is impossible for man is possible for God" (evidently from the Bible, Luke 18:27 "And he said, the things which are impossible with men are possible with God")

You keep your hope, even if it is in a very small place. Take your vitamins, meditate, eat well and exercise. Also, find another doctor who is more supportive.

(and to another person)

What you need to remember is that it takes more than one sperm to fertilize an egg - each sperm had enzymes in its head that they use to weaken the shell and collectively a large group of them help dissolve it, it really is a team effort. You will want to maximize your opportunities by loading up when you have EWCM, prior to since sperm can survive in EW for days. Once ovulation occurs the biological valve into your uterus is already closed and it is too late. Eggs mature ongoing inside the ovaries so nutrition and hormonal balance have a big affect on how they mature (I looked into this in my big medical text called Gynecologic Endocrinology and Infertility a couple months ago to help out some women I know with ovulatory problems). Have you had hormonal work done to check your prolactin and progesterone? Do you ovulate regularly?

---

I've been feeling just icky, like barely getting car sick and I'm hungry a lot but eating doesn't help stop that feeling very much. Thank god I'm not puking like some of the girls I've met with Feb due dates.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Two years ago when we were starting to TTC I was having some odd spotting around ovulation or so. It wasn't normal for me and yet it kind of fit the description of ovulatory spotting from TCOYF. A couple months later I was having pelvic pain and my doctor found a fibroid. I then switched to a naturopathic doctor for treatment and the spotting stopped. She had the full basic hormone work done, but not the CD 21 progesterone test. I had to change my diet, my stress level, my lifestyle to help my body to be healthy. I was on herbal supplements for several months as well and on iron to help combat anemia that was hanging around for years.

At the beginning of this year I started seeing an acupuncturist and he helped balance my hormones further. It was a little ouchy at times but amazing. I think he helped even my cycles more than anyone I have cycles that are so regular.

I also saw 3 REs and had more hormonals tests, an HSG, and several u/s (for my fibroid). I have to say that the combination of alternative therapies combined with traditional western medicine helped me to feel like I had all bases covered. I talked to a lot of docs because they wanted me to have surgery and I didn't want it (for the fibroid). Talking to lots of different practitioners was really valuable, though time-consuming. My insurance covered all but the co-pay but that fibroid was helpful in validating the consultations.

Doctors gave us miniscule odd of conceiving on our own but we did it. I think acupuncture had a lot to do with it.

Here is a link to a page that references many studies about acupuncture for use in fertility issues:
http://www.easternharmonyclinic.com/medart/medart.html
I was feeling awful today so I worked from home. I had a major crying fit last night due to work stress and the upset feelings lasted all night and into the morning. My stomach was upset as well, I'm really not certain if it was something I ate or what, sometimes emotional upset can do that to me. I'm feeling more reasonable now though. It was interesting trying to explain to my partner this morning that he needs to leave me alone when I tell him too, that was what triggered the problem last night but I was already feeling weepy before that so maybe my hormones hit some new threshold that was a bit overwhelming. I don't like feeling like that and I hope I can avoid going there again.

At least it is a beautiful summer day today.

Monday, June 21, 2004

Since it is on my mind I thought I would point out that the every other day plan didn't seem to work for us. I have lots of EW normally so we decided to take advantage and load up ahead of time by BD'ing (baby dancing) every day and sometimes twice a day. Hard to keep that pace up and yes, it can be sore but no it didn't dry me out as that web link indicated. Instead what it did was get us pg.

Doctors told us that we had a really small chance of conceiving on our own and that we would need some major interventions (abdominal surgery to remove my fibroid and then IVF with ICSI -- where they inject the sperm). We instead worked with natural healthcare providers -- naturopaths, acupuncturists, chiropractors to improve our health and balance. We also consulted with 3 REs and 2 Ob/Gyns and my partner has a UR as well since he had a reversal.

I'm amazed that we were able to conceive but based on our experience I would say throw in a few tries with as much BD as you can bear plus vitamins.
Wow, I'm feeling fortunate compared to some of the other pregnant women I know who are experiencing bad nausea and vomiting. I did remember reading about someone who was so sick through her pg that all she could eat were frozen blueberries.

I just have to eat when I get hungry or else this car sick feeling starts creeping up. If I eat there isn't any problem. I also wake up in the morning and my breasts kill, I have to hold them on the way to the bathroom to stop them from moving and I'm only normally between a B and a C cup. I think I'm pushing the C-cup now.

Today work was stressful with a couple of clients and I was having a hard time holding it together. I either wanted to cry or I was having to hold back grouchiness -- not good for consulting. I felt depressed and anxious. When I came home I took the dog for a walk to wind down.

So it seems like many women are confused by the difference in counting -- either from ovulation or from LMP. I don't care what any doctor says, I know when I ovulated and they aren't going to shift any dates for me. 26 cycles of charting tells me more than they can by my LMP.

I still wonder too about being able to keep the baby. My mother had 3 miscarriages before she had my older brother. She is allergic to iodine and has thyroid trouble so that's the likely cause and I don't have any thyroid trouble. I don't think God (sorry to anyone who isn't religious) would let anything happen to this baby though, I really feel as though God finally decided that it was time for us as strange as that might seem.
My MIL was in town this weekend and I wasn't online that much. We've also been having amazingly nice summer weather here and I've been trying to take advantage of it -- in between taking naps. I love weekends because I can rest in the afternoon. I'm thinking of working afternoons at home when I can to help manage the fatigue. I think it is the thyroid going overtime and keeping my temps high that is taking a lot of extra energy.

I don't temp religiously so I'm not doing so now either. I figure that I'll keep eating whole foods, taking my vitamins, drink lots of water, and supplement progesterone. Aside from keeping down my stress level I figure that the baby will either stay or go based on genetics and I've done all I and anyone else can do.

I'm surprised at how much "fluff" I've got around my middle already. Another woman I know who is about 30+ weeks along right now told me that she put on most of her weight in the first 10 weeks and is now at the lower end of her weight gain category. I shouldn't worry and I know I shouldn't cut back or diet. I've always been thin and this is a bit of a difficult adjustment.

I've got to go eat something before I feel yucky.